covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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