I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have post one night stand depression
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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