The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
