I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
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Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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