Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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