I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
