32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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