living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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