2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
