She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
