youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
