Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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