Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He? As in you personified your dick?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
