But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am spending my child support on dildos
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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