I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize