butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
