so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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