i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
