dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
