Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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