Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
