Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
