i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
