This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
