thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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