there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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