So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
