Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
