she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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