All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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