that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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