As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
