I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
