I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My ATM looks so different sober.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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