I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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