I skipped work to stalk him.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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