the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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