im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
