I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
