just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
