i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
