he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
