His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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