this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
