LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize