physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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