he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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