Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
