You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
