Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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