well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
