Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
