I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
