The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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