yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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