3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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