so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
