sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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