I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
